Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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