Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Found your dick twin last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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