dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
