I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
