She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm sobbing to NWA
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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