I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
