note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
