Me too!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
