you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
