Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
