hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
