I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
