this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
