No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
