so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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