I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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