Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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