Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
