Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sober January is a disaster.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
