So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
