32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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