Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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