My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
