three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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