i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
