Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
