we have officially lost it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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