this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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