Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
