worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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