Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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