i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
