We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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