My liver just broke up with me...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
