he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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