o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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