i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
