420 ftw
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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