At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
