very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
