apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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