She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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