i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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