Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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