Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
