Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
