You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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