so let's talk penis.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
