tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
