My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Small penises have feelings too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just want nice things and good sex
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
