Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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