haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize